A Message To My Friends

I wanted to take a few minutes and recognize friends who have been trying to connect with me here lately. Please don’t take my lack of response personally. I’m not mad at you, or not wanting to see you.

I have been on a very dark rollercoaster ride, and recently I decided it was time to climb out and find the light. I have been doing a lot of inward focusing lately trying to get myself back on track mentally and physically. This last two years has all but destroyed me. The self defeating attitude I fell into has met its match Friday Morning when I met with my new mental health care team. The pity party ends now. There is no shame in acknowledging when you can’t pull yourself back up and that something inside you has popped a spring and lost momentum.

I am done trying to please others or conforming to what others think I should do. I spent way too much of my life adapting to others to maintain their happiness and well-being at the costs of my own. This weekend begins a new start for me, slow as it may be, the race is over and I’m driving now. I know you all have heard this from me before, but I have backup now, and new resources at my disposal that I didn’t have or acknowledge previously. Some of you here on Facebook new friends and old helped to reignite me by assuring me sometimes you just got to get help (you all know who you are) just know I am very happy and honored to have your support.

As for why I have been not returning messages. I can’t be

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Health & Depression

It’s not hard to tell that I have been struggling lately.  Sorting through a combination of medical ailments, and a raging case of depression had me in a slump I just could not dig out of.  Fortunately, I seem to be feeling a little better overall.  I have had to adjust my perspectives on things a bit and come to some hard choices and realizations.  The first realization is I have been trying to spread myself too thin.  I am not a creature apparently that works well on a schedule.

This being realized I am going to disband the Hoffy’s Workshop Show and return to an on the fly as things are happening video style.  If you are contributing to the Hoffy’s workshop show Patreon, I encourage you to redirect your funding to the Hoffy’s World Website as all my activities will once again be based there.    I just can’t keep up with building a production such as that show. Now with the recent changes to YouTube it just does not suit me the benefit of the frustration I have been dealing with.  I figured if I’m not finding total joy out of doing and it feels too much like work then I’m going in the wrong direction.

I’m getting ready to start-up my work on my railroad again.  I am finding I have a few extra dollars now I could redirect to that endeavor.  I have to say I appreciate the outpour of support and encouragement I have received over the last few months from several of my cyberspace friends.  I know I have not been much for communication or taking you all up on the various offers to help me, but just know I appreciate it.  It has been a very dark journey I have been on, now that I’m seeing the light of my singularity I am growing my fire to get frisky in the workshop again.  I am hoping to start-up writing on a regular basis again as well.

I can not believe how suddenly I let things fall silent again.  But, that’s what depression does to you I suppose.  I lost all ambition to do anything but sleep and eat.  The cold weather being my nemesis definitely has not been a help to this.

Now call me a wuss if you choose, but one of the biggest battles I have been contending with has been heartbreak.  This has manifested in many ways over the last two years.  It has also turned my whole school of thought upside down.  I have come to the conclusion that I have a unique and very old fashion view on certain things.  This, unfortunately, does not click very well in the modern world today.  Figuring this out I have decided to love the most important people.  My family, My Son, and most of all Myself.  I no longer have time for selfish people, If someone else drifts into my world in the process then that will be a matter to ponder then.  I’m not going out of my way any longer to find them.

But overall, and now that I let that loose through the keyboard, I feel pretty good about myself now.  Hopefully God willing I will have some neat stuff flowing soon.

stall, depression

The Big Stall – The Year End Retrospective

It occurred to me yesterday during an annual holiday visit from my Aunt and Uncle that I have not posted in darn near a month.  I have had no concept of this extended time lapse with this stall.  There has been many unexpected roadblocks and detours through November.  A family medical crisis, and the occasional drag-down fatigue and sleep disruption I contend with as a result of my own ailments have been the large contributing factors.

I have also recently been considering that I may have my nuts scattered a little too far from the basket.  I have been struggling to gather topics and material for The Hoffy’s Workshop Show, and have been considering melding it back into my blog for the purpose of consolidation.  This is not a final decision though.  I think if I bring everything back together this kind of stall might reduce.

The other matter is that some of my supply lines for materials on theContinue reading

choices

Choices, Right or Wrong – Life in Retrospect

I find myself doing a lot of back thinking about my past choices here lately.  Wondering deeply where I would be if I had just taken a chance, or did the wrong thing for a change.  “The Wrong Thing” now there is an interesting concept.  I never thought I would ever find myself in the position of realizing that the right things were actually the wrong in the long run.

I’ve learned a lot of insight on things I overlooked and hints and signals missed that I now realize were opening doors I just walked right past. Continue reading

values

My Journey of Embracing The Values I Left Behind

Photo By: https://www.flickr.com/photos/bs0u10e0/
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/

I’ve made a lot of concessions and compromises in my values over the years.  Recently, I have been doing a lot of thinking about my life in the grand scheme of things.  I find myself wondering about, Where would I be if I had continued my original course?  Where would I be if I had listened more to myself and less to other influences?

I have started down many roads.  These roads though not traveled for very Continue reading

open writing

Open Writing – My New Therapy of Self Peace

It should be pretty apparent that I have seriously started writing again regularly.  I originally set out to write multiple posts a day but found myself exhausting to develop topics.  Instead, I have now decided to at least write one post in my General Blog Column every day.  I decided that the topic needs to come from my heart and mind at the time and not be premeditated.  The reason behind this new open writing style is I find a strong sense of internal release when I do.  I am someone who especially over the last year has suffered intensely with anxiety and depression.  I’m finding this to be very therapeutic for me on both counts.

I have received some great feedback and supportContinue reading

Perfection - CC BY-SA 3.0 Nick Youngson

Why I’m Not a Perfect Person and Satisfied With It

I’m not a perfect person.  Frankly, anyone who thinks they are has to be flawed in some aspect just to even believe it themselves.  I’ve trudged through this life so far believing that hard work, playing by the rules, and earning money would bring happiness.  I have since learned that there is Continue reading

Getting Good at Getting Knocked Down

Knocked Down

I have come to realize this week that the one overwhelming skill I have developed is standing up.  I don’t think I can count on my hands and toes combined how many times I have been knocked down.  By knocked down, I mean being derailed from a goal or purpose, or sidelined because of health issues.Continue reading

The Hoffy’s Workshop YouTube Show

As a reader of my blogs here at Hoffy’s World, you might be unaware of my other project I am doing on Youtube and the Sister Website Continue reading

Project Board Photo

Organization with Project Boards and Trays

Using Project Boards and Trays to Aid Organization of Projects

I have always had a problem with keeping projects organized.  I’ll move one project out-of-the-way in order to work on something else, and the next thing I know something is missing.  It has been quite some time since I have had the need but I recently have began using my project board method of organization again.    For smaller projects I have trays that are used specifically for holding onto these as well.  In this article I will share these items and how I use them to keep things straight.

What is a Project Board?

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